I'm planning a trip with my daughter Grace. We're going with two other moms, good friends of mine, and their daughters as well. The trip surrounds a weekend seminar for the girls, so while the kids will be busy all of Friday, Saturday and Sunday, us moms will have some free time on our hands.
Only, when I say "us moms" I really mean my two friends will have some free time, and I'll be spending my time running back and forth from the hotel to check on Grace, and worrying that her blood sugar is okay. See, I was told, and it's written in their information packet, that employees of the seminar will take no responsiblily for those with medical conditions, and if the child isn't fully capable of taking care of herself then I need to remain on the premises.
This is what bothers me, and why I'll spend my time worrying instead of enjoying some much needed "mommy time." Grace is 9, and under normal circumstances IS fully capable. She wears an insulin pump and knows how to use it. She checks her own blood sugar and knows what to do if she needs a bolus or correction. But we all know that when we take our children out of their normal routines, it begins a game of blood sugar roulette. Where will her numbers land? It's anybodys guess!
There's a buffet lunch every day and one thing Grace hasn't mastered yet, and for that matter neither have I, is carb counting. I'll help her with that. We're going out to dinner every night. Three moms, three girls. I'll try to guide her to smart and healthy dinner choices, but with her friends there, who knows. When we're out to dinner with our family, I can guide all my kids, or limit their choices to ones that are more healthy. When we're out with friends I feel bad limiting Grace's choices in the face of her friends eating whatever they want. Blood sugar roulette.
I do what needs to be done to take care of my daughter. But I'm not beyond sometimes wishing things could be different. Wishing my friends could have that understanding that only comes from having a child with diabetes. Wishing Grace prefered grilled chicken and rice over mac-n-cheese. Wishing three days away with my precious daughter meant only bonding and relaxation and memories, not anxiety and exhaustion.