This is my second Thanksgiving as an active pancreas. Last year I was scared and overwhelmed by the quantity of carb-laden foods throughout the day. I looked at the serving dishes, trying to decide what to give Grace, and all I saw was potatoes and stuffing and corn casserole and pie. I thought I'd never enjoy and truly feel relaxed at the holidays again.
Now here I am again, one year later. I've had an entire year of learning, practicing, and trial and error. Grace's insulin to carb ratios have changed (as recently as this morning - down to 1:12 for breakfast), as have her basal rates ant sensitivity factor. More changes are on the horizon. But probably the biggest change doesn't have anything to do with my daughter, her pump or her ratios. The biggest change is within me. I am a different pancreas, and therefore a different mom.
I have learned that my freaking out doesn't actually help to improve Grace's blood sugar.
I've learned that sometimes (ok, most of the time) diabetes just sucks and Grace will have wonky numbers no matter how hard I try.
I've learned that Grace is a 9 year old girl first and a diabetic second.
I've learned that blogging has connected me to a wonderfully heartwarming on-line community, without which I'd feel so alone.
I've learned that life and love go on, and happiness isn't found in perfect numbers, but in the smile that lives in my daughter's heart.
And that is what I'm truly thankful for today.
The apache wars by paul hutton
21 hours ago